Be Nice! October is Bully Prevention Month

By: Melissa K. Burkhardt, M.S. Ed, BCBA

Certified Early Start Denver Model Therapist and Autism Specialist 

Did you know that October is Bully Prevention month and Disability Awareness month? Sadly, children with an exceptionality are 2 to 3 times more likely to be bullied than their typical peers.

Empathy

So, what can you do to help ensure that your child is not a victim of bullying or does not become a bully themselves? To put it simply---EMPATHY! Parents who show empathy for their child when upset, without ignoring their child’s feelings or trying to change their child’s emotional state, help them to develop empathy. 

How to Spot Empathy in a Child

Let’s look at a couple of examples of how to develop empathy in your child.

• Your young child wants to go outside, but it is raining and your child is crying and frustrated. Empathy is reflecting how your child feels. Describe to your child what you see, “Your face is going like this” (get on your child’s level and mirror your child’s face). “You look like you feel sad because you can’t go outside right now. I know this is hard for you but you can handle this.”  Dr. Becky Bailey, creator of Conscious Discipline, wrote the Schubert and Sophie series. These books help teach children crucial social skills, such as regulating their own emotional states and how to be assertive with others who do not respect their boundaries, such as bullies. This series walks the child and parent through the steps on how to handle upsets, as in the scenario described above.
• Another example of teaching your child empathy is by expressing respect, care, and concern for everyone your child sees and hears you interact with. Yes, even the driver who cuts you off in traffic! Showing empathy in this situation could be by saying out loud, "Boy, that really scared me and I need to take a deep breath to help me feel calm! That driver must have an emergency to be driving so fast! I hope that everything works out well for her!” Not only will you be modeling empathy, but you will be modeling self-regulation for your child.
• A further effective way to teach empathy is to teach children to value one another’s differences. I authored the book Exceptionally Good Friends: Building Relationships with Autism (EGF), winner of the Autism Society’s, “2015 Dr. Temple Grandin Outstanding Literary Work of the Year.” One of the reasons I wrote the book is specifically to help children develop empathy, tolerance, and understanding of one another’s differences. The story is told from the point of view of a neuro-typical child about her friend with autism. The book can then be flipped over for another story told from the point-of-view of the child with autism, experiencing the same events. The two stories lend themselves very well to the discussion of these differences. One of my favorite quotes from the book is, “Next time I see someone who looks or acts differently, I will remember to be kind to them.” To learn more about this insightful resource, visit http://www.exceptionallygoodfriends.com/.

Compassion, Empathy and Character Development

The Creating Compassionate Children™ (CCC) campaign is a curriculum for schools that is centered around EGF. “Get caught Being Kind™” is the campaign’s slogan. The curriculum provides teachers and schools with discussion questions to be used along with my book and extension activities and materials to help students develop compassion and empathy for peers who look or act differently. The CCC campaign meets federal guidelines for the requirement for Character Development. To donate a kit to a classroom or to find out about implementing the program in your county, visit http://getcaughtbeingkind.org/.

Avoid Bullying

Equipping your child with strong self-advocacy skills can help your child to avoid becoming a victim of bullying.  A common home situation that is ideal to teach self-advocacy skills is when your child takes their sibling’s toy. Attend to the “victim” first, offering empathy and empowerment. Ask the victim, “Did you like it when your brother/sister took your toy?” The child will likely say, “No!” emphatically. Help the “victim” use this energy to approach the “aggressor” to say, “I don’t like it when you take my toy, give it back, please!” Next, attend to the “aggressor” saying, “Look at your brother/sister’s face. His/her face shows that he/she feels mad and doesn’t like it when you take his/her toy. You wanted your sibling’s toy but did not have the words to tell him/her. Instead of grabbing, next time say, ’May I have a turn please.’ Try it with me now.” You have now taught your child a new skill to use in a similar situation in addition to reinforcing empathy.

Children are much less likely to become bullies themselves when their caregivers are responsive to their emotional and physical needs, connected to their child, treat others with respect, and utilize positive discipline.

About the Author: Melissa K. Burkhardt, M.S. Ed., BCBA, is Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) specializing in the earliest of intervention in autism. As of 2016, Melissa is one of 265 certified Early Start Denver Model (ESDM) providers worldwide, trained in a therapy specifically designed for 12-48 month old children diagnosed with autism. She is the author of the award-winning book, Exceptionally Good Friends: Building Relationships with Autism recipient of the Autism Society’s, “2015 Dr. Temple Grandin Outstanding Literary Work of the Year” and the Mom’s Choice Award. As a certified Special Education Early Intervention Teacher, she taught in the public school system for 20 years where she helped to pioneer a fully inclusive pre-k program in her school district.

Melissa specializes in private therapy providing very early intervention for children with autism and parental coaching to achieve best outcomes in a child’s life. She shares her extensive knowledge about autism through public speaking, coaching, program development, and preparing specialized presentations for individuals, groups, and corporations.

Melissa has learned from experience that early intervention takes advantage of the brain’s neural plasticity and is essential in helping a child with autism spectrum disorder to achieve success in developing to their full capacity.

Melissa can be reached at Melissa@earlystartautism.com.
EarlyStartAutism.com

What is Autism?

By: Melissa K. Burkhardt, M.S. Ed, BCBA

Certified Early Start Denver Model Therapist and Autism Specialist 

It is an honor to guest blog for Choosy Kids this month since April is Autism Awareness Month.

Autism is so prevalent in today’s society that if you do not personally know someone with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), or know a family that is being touched by a child with ASD, statistics tell us that you probably will soon.

You may ask, exactly what is autism? ASD refers to a complex group of developmental disorders of the brain. Symptoms appear before age three and reflect delayed or abnormal development in language, social skills, and repetitive or restricted behavior. According to a study released in March of 2016 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 1 in every 68 children has been identified with ASD.

The CDC report also shows that most children with ASD are diagnosed after age four, although ASD can be diagnosed as early as 18 months. Many parents report that they “knew something was not right” with their child as early as a few months old. Research has shown that early detection and intervention are the most powerful tools in helping children with ASD to reach their greatest potential. This is where my passion lies – reaching out and working with toddlers and their families to maximize their learning ability so they can develop to their highest capability!

It is important to realize that children with ASD are each very unique and have an extremely wide range of functioning levels. Mildly affected children may have average to above-average academic skills but lack social reciprocity and are unable to have developmentally appropriate relationships. They are often experts on one subject and may only want to speak about this subject despite the obvious disinterest of others. Conversely, severely affected children may have little-to-no functional language, other developmental delays, and few social skills. They often have severe sensory processing disorder (SPD) which can result in repetitive, intense behaviors.

Early Red Flags of Autism

• By 6 months: No big smiles or other warm, joyful expressions
• By 9 months: No back-and-forth sharing of sounds, smiles, or other facial expressions
• By 12 months: No back-and-forth gestures, such as pointing, showing, reaching, or waving; lack of response to name; and, no babbling or “baby talk”
• By 16 months: No spoken words
• By 18 months: No play of “pretend” games (pretend to “feed” a doll)
• By 24 months: No meaningful two-word phrases that do not involve imitating or repeating
• At any age, any loss of: speech, babbling, or social skills

Reference – www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/signs.html 

A person with ASD might:

• Avoid eye contact and want to be alone
• Have trouble understanding other people’s feelings, or talking about their own feelings
• Have delayed speech and language skills
• Repeat words or phrases over and over (echolalia)
• Give unrelated answers to questions
• Get upset by minor changes
• Have obsessive interests
• Flap their hands, rock their body, or spin in circles
• Have unusual reactions to the way things sound, smell, taste, look, or feel

After reading the signs of autism listed in the red flags list above, if you suspect your child may have ASD, or a developmental delay, you can ask your pediatrician for a screening. You can complete the same screening most pediatricians use and receive possible at-risk scores right now by going to https://www.m-chat.org/index.php. If your child is under the age of three, you can call 1-800-CDC-INFO to find the phone number for your state’s early intervention program, or visit www.cdc.gov/Concerned. If your child is age three or older, contact your local elementary school and ask to speak to someone about having your child evaluated, even if your child does not go to that school. Your child may be eligible for early intervention services at no charge.

During Autism Awareness Month in 2015, I conducted a webinar, “Autism in Early Childhood: Evidence-Based Practices” for Hatch Early Learning that is available free of charge. On April 21, 2016, I will be conducting another free webinar for Hatch on Autism and Friendship. Click here to register. Another resource is the award-winning book I authored, Exceptionally Good Friends: Building Relationships with Autism, told from two points of view. One from the point-of-view of a neuro-typical child about her friend with autism. Flip the book over for the same events told from the point-of-view of a child with autism. The reader (both adults and children) gains empathy and understanding as he/she receives a glimpse into the world of autism. Evidence-based practices and resources are included in the middle of the story that relate back to the child with autism’s story.

Please share this very important information and resources about autism with others so that all children with autism and their families can receive the support and help they need. If anyone would like to inquire about autism consultation services, Melissa can be reached at Melissa@earlystartautism.com or to learn more about evidence-based early intervention visit EarlyStartAutism.com.

About the Author: Melissa K. Burkhardt, M.S. Ed., BCBA, is Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) specializing in the earliest of intervention in autism. As of 2016, Melissa is one of 265 certified Early Start Denver Model (ESDM) providers worldwide, trained in a therapy specifically designed for 12-48 month old children diagnosed with autism. She is the author of the award-winning book, Exceptionally Good Friends: Building Relationships with Autism recipient of the Autism Society’s, “2015 Dr. Temple Grandin Outstanding Literary Work of the Year” and the Mom’s Choice Award. As a certified Special Education Early Intervention Teacher, she taught in the public school system for 20 years where she helped to pioneer a fully inclusive pre-k program in her school district.

Melissa specializes in private therapy providing very early intervention for children with autism and parental coaching to achieve best outcomes in a child’s life. She shares her extensive knowledge about autism through public speaking, coaching, program development, and preparing specialized presentations for individuals, groups, and corporations.

Melissa has learned from experience that early intervention takes advantage of the brain’s neural plasticity and is essential in helping a child with autism spectrum disorder to achieve success in developing to their full capacity.

Melissa can be reached at Melissa@earlystartautism.com.
EarlyStartAutism.com

Autism Spectrum Disorder Social Stories

By: Rita Massullo & Caroline Ensor

What is Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)? That is a term you hear a lot in today’s world. And as much as you hear, there are many and varied perceptions. ASD is a developmental disability significantly affecting verbal and non-verbal social communication and social interaction. Other characteristics often associated with ASD are:

• Engagement in repetitive activities and stereotyped movements
• Resistance to environmental changes or changes in daily routines
• Unusual responses to sensory experiences.

As autism classroom teachers, we are presented frequently with questions from parents on how to introduce new activities, go through routines of the day and how to decrease anxieties which can cause behaviors.

Social stories are a great tool used to describe and/or teach a situation, skill or concept. The purpose of a social story is to improve the child’s understanding of the situation, skill or concept. They can share accurate information using a process, format, voice and content that is meaningful and physically, socially and emotionally safe for the child. For example:

1. I am starting a new school
2. I can eat new foods
3. I can go to the park
4. I can play with my friends

As we share this information with families on how to write social stories, we remind them to keep their child’s developmental level in mind, as they create a goal focused social story. Other factors to consider are length of the story, real vs. cartoon pictures, using “I” language and maintaining a positive and patient tone.

A good time to introduce and read the stories are before the activity or routine and while the child is in a calm and receptive state.  It is important to give the child opportunities to review the story frequently. You may also use the story as a visual aide to remind your child of expectations, steps of the routines and positive social behaviors.

There are a lot of resources out there, including free templates and examples. Here are a couple links that we have found helpful for our families.

1) Social Stories and Resources
2) Educate Autism - Social Stories
3) Challenging Behavior - Social Story Tips

Can you think of a social story to share with us about Choosy? We would love to start a social story collection!

In addition, join us in celebration for 2015 National Autism Awareness Month! #AutismUniquelyYou is a month-long social media campaign in April celebrating uniqueness and acceptance. It’s a simple concept – hand painting for a cause and raising awareness for the Autism Society. The campaign encourages people to paint their hands, make a video or take a picture of a unique product, share it on social media, and urge others to do the same! Share this how-to video with others.

Nearly a quarter century ago, the Autism Society launched a nationwide effort to promote autism awareness, inclusion and self-determination for all, and assure that each person with ASD is provided the opportunity to achieve the highest possible quality of life.  A popular way to promote autism awareness is to wear the Autism Awareness Puzzle Ribbon.

About the Authors: 

Rita Massullo, M.A., in Early Childhood Special Education and M.S., in Physical Education with a specialization in Motor Development, both from West Virginia University, has been working in education for over 30 years. She began to use her field of early childhood motor development with students after they were dismissed from physical therapy, and began to coach other teachers the importance of stability and balance on a child’s performance during other activities.  She held the lead position in helping to design a playground to include designs for special needs children at the school she worked in.  She went on to become a certified early child special education teacher and worked in West Virginia school systems, pairing general education and special education instruction within the universal classroom for 3-5 year olds. Rita had an opportunity to teach overseas, developing a nursery (3-4 year old) program in one of the United Arabic Emerites’ International Baccalaureate schools. Rita currently resides in Denver, Colorado, and works in Aurora Public School as an Early Childhood Special Educator.  She continues to teach in her “love area:” Autism.

Caroline Ensor, B.S. in Early Childhood Special Education, Elementary Education and a certification in Autism Spectrum Disorder from University of Wisconsin Oshkosh, has been working with children with autism for over six years.  Caroline was a line therapist for the Wisconsin Early Autism Project for three years where she did in-home Applied Behavior Analysis therapy as a part of a therapy team partnering with families.  She collaborated to teach children pre-academic, academic, daily living, communication, motor, play and social skills, while also breaking down behavior barriers. Caroline currently resides in Denver, Colorado and works for Aurora Public Schools as an Early Childhood Special Educator focusing on children with autism.