The Big Milestones in Infants: Walking and Talking

By: Christine Cox, The Choosy Mommy

Believe it or not, Cam is going to turn 1 tomorrow. His whole first year of life went by so quickly! And I know that children grow up really fast because I truly can’t believe Capri will be 4 this summer, but I feel like Cam grew up both fast and slow. Fast because it has already been a year, but slow because of our early start to his life (remember that he was born at 33 weeks). I would always compare his “skills” to other children his age and try to determine when his milestones would happen, but I have come to accept that he may not hit his milestones when other children do because he was born 2 months early. Reaching those development milestones like smiling, rolling from back to belly, sitting up, crawling and eventually walking, are of course important, but Cam is not racing anyone but himself to reach those goals.

No two children are alike and this is true for all aspects of life. But when it comes to Cam, I have to consider his adjusted age when trying to track about when he should be reaching milestones (so about 2 months later than children born at 40 weeks). I have to laugh at him though, because he was pretty lazy. Capri would do a lot for him so I don’t think he felt the need to overachieve. But now that he is crawling, I feel like life is just pouring out of him. He is happier, his eyes are brighter and his personality is just shining. But we still have milestones to reach, especially the two big ones that I am so desperately waiting for: walking and talking.

Walking

We learned from Professor and author Steve Sanders that balance and strength are the two critical movement skills of infants. And you would think that all of the child’s strength would have to be in their legs, but this is not true. Back strength is where you should concentrate when helping your child learn to walk. To strengthen their backs, do extra tummy time and encourage movement of the head and neck by catching their interest with different things. Balance comes with time, and some bravery! Babies learn to pull themselves to a standing position on furniture or with their bigger toys, but cruising around those objects and eventually letting go, that is a whole new ball game! To encourage balance, make a path of furniture or toys that can support them while they hang on and walk around. Additionally, offer your hands as support when they get to the end of their path. When the child feel comfortable going from their path to your hands, they will build confidence in themselves and will eventually try to reach the next piece of furniture or toy that is not in that path without your assistance.

Talking

Most parents can’t wait to hear which word comes out of their child’s mouth first: typically mama or dada (or in my house, Capri hopes it is her name!) Babies understand what others around them are saying long before they can verbally respond. And you know this because they smile, clap or even coo. But getting them to start verbally responding can be a long road, especially if they have chatty siblings and can’t seem to get a word in edgewise!

Talk constantly to your baby. If you feel odd speaking to something that isn’t going to respond back, read books to them. By hearing your voice and others around you, they are learning how to move their lips and make those sounds that you are making. When a noise does make its way out, praise your child and encourage them to keep making it. I always made noises into a fun game, and it is even more fun now that I have two kids. Capri really like to play the noise game with Cam. Even if you are driving in the car, playing music and singing along to it helps because they are still hearing every word you say.

So to parents like me who can’t wait for their children to reach milestones, my advice is to hang in there. Your child will eventually walk and talk and do all of the things that you can’t wait for them to do! And trust me, these milestones are only the beginning. Wait until you get to potty training, or even the things I have yet to experience!

About the Author: Christine Cox is the blog master for Choosy Kids. She has always had a passion for writing and is honored to contribute her work to this blog. Most of her writing inspiration comes from her daughter, Capri, who is fun-loving and full of energy, and newborn son Cam. Click here to learn more about Christine.

Sibling Rivalry

By: Jennifer Ripepi, MD

Have more than one child in your home? Then you probably have or will have to deal with sibling rivalry: sharing, divided attention, and some battles between them. It happens. So how can you deal with it?

One thing to remember is that any attention a child gets from you is attention whether you are happy or not. How do you keep your wits when the battles wage around you? Be ready to accept that the conflict will happen. That is key. Children are not doing this with the intent of making you crazy. The intent is to get what each child wants whether it's toys or mommy's lap or the last strawberry. Limited resources leads to competition. Everything cannot be shared fairly all the time.

Waiting for a turn when a child sees someone else having fun is really hard. So give your child tips for how to make waiting fun with little rhymes, counting games, singing songs and such. Use your imagination or let them use theirs.  Set timers so that the time is the same for each if turn-taking is the goal. Short spurts are better than longer intervals.

What if there is only one toy between two battling children? I used to give the toy a time out. We sometimes had more toys in time out than usable. We had to find ways to use our imaginations and cooperate with activities instead. We would try more active play, pretend games with everyone involved, or story time. Sometimes the battle was heated enough that two children and the toy went to a brief time out. That would usually give me time to come up with a plan like a snack, a nap, or play ideas. Believe me, I felt like I needed to be a magician to pull ideas out of thin air sometimes.

Ever walk into a room because you heard a scream and a cry? A conflict has happened and now you have to sort it out! What do you do? That's a tough one. If both children can talk or there is a bystander who can give some input then that may help. If not, it's easier to blame the older child because "they should know better." But that may not be accurate. There is no way I can give advice that covers all of those situations. I think the best general way to handle that is to use a statement like, "It looks like you two (or more) need a break from each other. I don't know for sure what happened here but everyone will need to separate for (whatever time is age appropriate). Then we'll try to do something we all like together." You are giving time outs for a really good reason!

Please also try to praise your children when they are playing well together. There is nothing a child loves better than to hear that he or she is a good kid! There has to be "time in" for "time out" to work. Be patient with yourself and your children and find the positives. Take your "time outs" when you need them, too. It's a good example for your children.

How do you handle sibling rivalry in your home? If you don’t have more than one child, do you have cousin rivalry? Friend rivalry?

About the Author: I have been a pediatrician for over 25 years. My husband and I have been privileged to raise 4 bright and healthy children. I have tried to gather wisdom from the families I have been blessed to meet during my journey. I believe in practical and flexible parenting to help raise healthy adults. I love to garden, hike, travel and cook and I am looking forward to hearing from Choosy followers.

Finding a New Pediatrician: 5 Things to Look for During Your Doctor Search

By: Christine Cox, The Choosy Mommy

There are many reasons why parents choose to find a new Pediatrician. Most of the time your search starts when you find out you are pregnant and need to select who your child will see for the next 18 years for medical care. Sometimes it is because you just don’t mesh well with the doctor you chose and you are opting to look for another provider. But in my case, it is because my Pediatrician is retiring. Now it is time to start my search all over again and I’d like to share with you how I am going about this process.

I didn’t start seeing my current Pediatrician until this past year. I had horrible previous experiences at another office with various doctors and was just not happy with the customer service side of care (ex: waiting over an hour for an appointment is just not fun with a toddler). I asked my local mom friends who they see and I was recommended to give my current doctor a try. Her office is literally 5 minutes from my house, I love how she always came into the room with a smile, answered all of my questions, and the big thing was that Capri instantly liked her. She even pretends to be this doctor when she plays doctor’s office at home. Plus, she has been seeing Cam since he was born too, which as you may remember, he was premature so we saw our doctor more often than normal and she helped me through a lot with him.

But now I have to find a new doctor and I am sad. There are others within the group that I am going to give a try since I love that it is so close to home. The list below is what I will be using to determine if the new doctor(s) we see will be our go-to Pediatrician or if I have to go to a whole new practice:

1. Male versus Female: Capri has always seen a female doctor. It was kind of by chance to be honest, but I feel like anytime she has to see a male doctor due to the female not being available when we were, she did worse at her appointment. This might make a big difference in how your child acts during a checkup too!
2. Wait Times: I understand that doctor’s offices get backed up, but there is no reason for me to wait over an hour for a simple checkup, even worse if my child is sick and miserable. At my current Pediatrician’s office, I have never waited longer than 2 minutes to be seen. That is quite unheard of so I am hoping that our next doctor doesn’t make me wait long or I’ll be moving on.
3. Happiness During Our Appointment: Listen, I know that people have bad days, but if someone is a grump every time I see them and just does not seem to enjoy working with kids, then I am not going to expose my child to that environment. My doctor needs to come in the room smiling, happy to see my child. Or if children are sick, the doctor needs to show sympathy for their illness. Kids react to the moods of others.
4. Answers All of My Questions: I am not one who asks a ton of questions, but if I do, I want the doctor to answer them and not be rushing out of the room because my 15 minutes are up. I am paying them for my appointment, so if I have questions related to my child’s health, then I expect them to be answered right then and there.
5. Has Longevity with the Group: I want my kids to build a relationship with their Pediatrician. I like that they will know who they are going to see when they are sick or just for a checkup, and not see this  person as a stranger to be feared. It is so much easier when I can remind them how great the last visit with the doctor was and that they don’t have to be scared.

Additionally, check out this website from healthychildren.org that shares information on how to find the names of qualified pediatricians and more interview questions.

Have you ever had to make a doctor switch? What tips can you share with me to make my search easier?


About the Author: Christine Cox is the blog master for Choosy Kids. She has always had a passion for writing and is honored to contribute her work to this blog. Most of her writing inspiration comes from her daughter, Capri, who is fun-loving and full of energy, and newborn son Cam. Click here to learn more about Christine.

My New Arch Nemesis

By: Christine Cox, The Choosy Mommy

I am going to preface this post by saying I am not the kind of parent who kept her child from fast food restaurants. They are great for meals on the go and treats but beyond that, there are other more suitable options available. However, my daughter who is almost 3, has had her fair share of fast food and now recognizes those golden arches every time she sees them. Regardless if we just had a really nice dinner out at a fancy restaurant or even if it isn’t meal time, she will say, “McDonalds! Nuggets! Fries!”

And I sigh.

Where did I go wrong? Every parent needs a break from a meal and my break is usually the drive thru. I try to make healthy choices for us both, but now I feel like I have created an arch nemesis, the fast food restaurant, because she recognizes and asks for it.

Should I feel like a bad parent because she eats fast food? Should I just stop going to fast food restaurants all together? NO! I am going to educate her on making healthy choices and being choosy when we do go to these kinds of restaurants because let’s face it…I might be a choosy mommy, but I am also a busy mommy and sometimes convenience wins.

I am going to teach my children that:

• Fast food restaurants are for certain times. We don’t make an extra stop just to drive thru somewhere because my child says so. I make breakfast, lunch and dinner and on those “on the go” days, or when a treat is warranted (successful potty training meant a milkshake in my house!) we will drive through. No exceptions. 
• There are “healthy” choices on the menu. Many fast food restaurants now have a fruit or yogurt option available for kids and have taken sugary drinks off the menu. And it seems to me that the meal sizes are smaller than they used to be meaning your children won’t eat more than they can chew (get it?!) 
• A penny saved is a penny earned. Right now this doesn’t mean a whole lot to my soon to be 3 year old, but it can make the choice even easier for parents to not eat regularly at fast food restaurants. IT IS EXPENSIVE! Sure, the dollar menus may seem like a bargain but once you add on a side and drink, then it all adds up. You can make a full meal of food similar to what you would find at a fast food restaurant for a fraction of the cost. 

So even though fast food restaurants are my new arch nemesis, I am not going to remove them from our lives and we will still eat at them occasionally. It is a life lesson that all children need to learn as these restaurants aren’t going away any time soon. Have your children check out the "Choosy Size Me" song and let them know that Choosy says...

"So I’ve just got to use my head

When somebody comes up to me and 

says ‘Would you like a burger and fries?’

Tack on a few extra sides

A jumbo size soda to wash it all down

Is that how you want to be?

(Is that how you want to be?)

Let your brain just waste away 

Sitting home watching TV all day

No thanks. I will just Choosy size me 

(Ooh...)

Just Choosy size me (Ooh...)"

Want more? Check out this fun, printable healthy food activity for your children! Click here to access the PDF and print. 

What fast food stops have you been willing to make and why? 

About the Author: Christine Cox is the blog master and The Choosy Mommy for Choosy Kids. She has always had a passion for writing and is honored to contribute her work to this blog. Most of her writing inspiration comes from her daughter, Capri, who is fun-loving and full of energy, and newborn son Cam. Click here to learn more about Christine.